


Ivy's Very Serious Archival Project

by Paladog_Vyt



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, Gen, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paladog_Vyt/pseuds/Paladog_Vyt
Summary: Ivy has a new project in mind, and asks all of the Mechanisms a series of questions about all their favorite parts of their adventures.
Relationships: Gunpowder Tim & Octokittens, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum (mentioned), The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina (mentioned)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 119
Collections: Stowaways' Shenanigans





	Ivy's Very Serious Archival Project

“Jonny, I’m going to ask you some questions about your experiences with the _Aurora_ and her crew, the people and stories we’ve encountered. It’s for an…archival project.” Ivy declared, clipboard and pen in hand.

“Uuuuugh” Jonny whined.

“Come on, Jonny, it’s not like I’m pulling teeth.”

“No, that would actually be more interesting. Archive stuff is so boooring.”

“It’s only ten questions”

“Ten?!”

“One for each of us.”

“I’ll answer _one_.”

There had been an 91% chance this was all she would get from Jonny, so she had ordered her questions appropriately. “Fine then, since you’re such a big sappy romantic-

  1. **What was your favorite romance?**



Jonny, for all his griping, contemplated his answer for a moment. “Rose and Cinders.”

“Is it because they got a happy ending?”

“I told you, that’s all I’m answering. Now fuck off.”

Ivy obliged, and found Tim cradling an octokitten in one arm and bouncing it gently like a baby.

“Tim, I’m working on an archival record for the crew. Of those we have met, which is your favorite romantic couple?

“Achilles and Patroclus, in the Ilian war.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have to tell you that.”

-

“Oh, that’s an easy one: myself and Inspector Lyf.”

“What? Marius, I was in prison with you, you two never hooked up” Ivy said, brow furrowing as she checked her memory banks for glitches and skips.

“Oh, no, this is more of a…future thing. Trust me. I’ll find them make it work…somehow.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “Sure. But since this is an _archival_ question, could you please give an answer from the _past_ , and not your dream journal?”

“Fine, uh… Dionysus and Ariadne. They hooked up after Theseus left her. She had to play the spurned lover of course, so it was all under the table… or under the desk…or on my therapy couch. In any case, I think it was good for both of them. They helped each other process feelings of abandonment and family-related rejection and…” Marius stopped, realizing what he was saying. “Anything I’ve told you is in strict compliance with Hippo guidelines.”

“Do you mean HIPPA?”

“No, as a medical professional I strongly advise people to not cross Hippos. Those things are vicious.”

-

“Myself and _Aurora_ , obviously.” Nastya replied.

“God, you’re worse than Marius. There was a 99% chance you would say that. What _other_ romance?”

“What is the 1% discrepancy?” Nastya demanded, looking affronted.

“That you would be, at the moment of asking, unable to speak at all for various reasons. Please answer.”

“Hmm... Odette and Siegfried, then.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

  1. **What was your favorite fight?**



“A much better question!” Tim cheered.

“Thanks. Your answer?” Ivy prompted, noting silently she had been right in associating this question with the gunner.

“Hereward’s siege. Lot of mines, explosions, treachery… and between all the great violence, there were dogs to pet.” The octokitten bapped him on the face with a tentacle.

-

“Tristan and Palamedes” Brian answered, polishing his arm. “It started as a duel over this girl, but even after that they kept finding increasingly flimsy excuses to “duel”, and nobody ever won- always a draw or some technicality so they could do it again the next week. And between the duels it was just this cloying love-hate tension… wait. Should this count for the first question too? Can I give the same answer to two questions?”

-

“Jonny and the…what’s that one detective’s name? The Whisper?”

“Marius, do you have a thing for cop romance now? Because there is an 87% chance anyone in this crew would shoot you for that. The remaining 13% is things worse than shooting.”

“What? No! Why would this have anything to do with romance? Psychologically speaking, it’s simply fascinating to watch. Like a cat and mouse game, but more complex, since the mouse is immortal and killed the cat’s family. I’ve got books of notes and observations on the Whisper’s mental collapse.”

“Ooh, can I copy them for the Archive?”

  1. **Who is your favorite survivor?**



“Prometheus” Ashes answered. “He was a wily son of a bitch.”

“He survived?” Ivy asked, updating her records.

“Maybe. The Olympians _did_ make him functionally immortal. They did it for torture, but I was planning on nudging Heracles in that direction if he made it back from the Daedalus job. As for what happened to him after the Acheron burned?” Ashes shrugged, not particularly concerned.

-

“Briar Rose” said Nastya. “I don’t often get involved with all of the crews…nonsense. But it was nice to help another cybernetic system.”

-

“The Frankenstein AI” Raphaella replied, pipetting an acid solution onto something vaguely fleshy. “An iconic testament to the scientific method, I have to admire that.”

  1. **What was your favorite location?**



“Can I say “Not the sun”? My answer is Not the Sun”.

-

“The City. What can I say? It was nice being a God-Crime Boss for a while. And it burned really nicely, in the end.”

-

“The bower of that Beast chap on Galfridian. A proper beauty, that was. Would you like some Tea, Ivy? It’s got nice rocks in it.”

“Er… no thank you, Toy Soldier. Let’s just move on to the next question.”

  1. **What was your favorite unusual or unnatural phenomenon?**



“Unusual maybe, but not unnatural. Nothings unnatural, just not understood. Yet.”

“Point taken, Raphaella, just answer the question.”

“It has to be Yog-Sothoth, doesn’t it? I mean, absolutely fascinating effects on practically every scientific law. Understanding it would be like splitting the atom, but on the scale of universes and dimensions. I only wish we could have stayed to study it in more detail.”

-

“I always liked Ulysses’ signal, in the horse. Such a simple little thing, but the way people tore into each other... The bloody frenzy of it was just _beautiful_ ” Tim said with a grin. “I should ask Raphaella about recreating it for the arsenal. Imagine the fun!”

-

“Well, I always thought it was unusual that they kept scorpions in Camelot” the Toy Soldier answered. “Most of the animals on the station were things humans could ride or eat or needed for agriculture. Do they make good pets? Tim’s got his octokittens and Jonny stole that horse. I think I deserve a scorpion. I’d feed it cucumber sandwiches.”

-

That phoenix planet, you remember?” Ashes asked.

“I’m the Archivist, Ashes, that’s my job. Chances of me having a personal memory failure are less than .01 of a percent. And that’s what backups are for.”

“Right, right. Well, I really liked that. Taking the fire that was supposed to kill it and turning it into its strength. Watching it emerge from that sun, more powerful than ever before- it was awe-inspiring. Brian could stop whining and learn a thing or two, honestly.”

  1. **What’s the most fun you’ve had?**



“Oh, that’s easy, bothering Inspector Lyf.”

“Marius, are you going to have _any_ answers that don’t involve them?”

“Fine, Dr. Pilchard’s visit. He was very friendly. And I think our time in the brig was a good crew bonding moment and group therapy session for everyone.”

-

“The planet we found with the weird comsat. With Alice something?” Tim replied, carefully disentangling one of the octokitten’s tentacles from his long hair. “The Cole War had been a lot of fun, and it was disappointing when it ended. So, it was a nice to find a spot of it left for a while; like an extra chip at the bottom of the bag. _No,_ the chips are _not_ for you, Better Brian.”

-

“I’m just happy to be involved!”

Ivy had predicted this answer and preemptively written it down, so she simply made a check mark in her notes.

  1. **What is your favorite memento?**



“That’s…private.” Nastya whispered, giving Ivy the look she did whenever someone asked her to translate Cyberian. Ivy didn’t pry further. 

-

“I kept a pocket watch, though I technically had that before joining the crew. I also have a moon rock.”

-

“The Eye of the Cyclops” Raphaella answered. “I asked Ashes to bring it back for me. It’s been absolutely invaluable for experiments in optics.”

-

“Oh, I kept this golden tapestry that…” Brian blushed. “Well, it’s a long story, and kind of convoluted. But there was this couple, and one of them wasn’t human but being stealth about it. You know how it can be. The other found out anyway, and didn’t take it well, but… I don’t know. It was beautiful, even if it was sad. I wanted to hold on to it.”

  1. **What is your favorite mechanical device?**



“Besides the _Aurora_ ” Ivy insisted, before Nastya could answer.

“Fine… the Bifrost”

“It killed an entire star system. More than one.”

“Well, sure, but as a train it was impeccable.”

-

“Basil Halward’s health transfusion device. I’ve been working with the schematics, comparing them to the Olympian immortality system as well as our own Mechanisms. I have some ideas for how to combine it with some of the technology we stole from Hansel and Gretel’s laboratory.”

-

“Oh, the lute we found with Cadence and Octavian is a good mate of mine!”

“It’s your friend, Toy Soldier?”

“Of course! Don’t be rude, Ivy, it’s as alive as I am. And we play very well together.”

  1. **What is your favorite game or hobby?**



“Mahjong. It’s a neat, simple game where nobody has to die.”

“Brian, someone gets shot in 73% of Mahjong games.”

“Let me have this, Ivy.”

-

“Knife monopoly!” Marius answered cheerfully.

-

“Poker.” Ashes said, and then amended “ _Actual_ poker, not whatever the hell Jonny thinks he’s playing.”

-

“The Cyberian Roulette variant we play, where it’s all cups of tea, but one of them was made by Toy Soldier. I got neon in mine once. It was a blast.”

“All right, Thank you Tim, that’s all.”

Tim furrowed his brow, counting on his fingers. “That was only nine questions?”

“The last question is just for the _Aurora_. Statistically, if I ask the last question to the crew, there’s a 99.93% chance it will lead to a crew-wide bloody civil war, and I would like to avoid that.”

“Party pooper.”

“Oh, and Tim? If you’ve got any Eye-photos you haven’t duplicated into the Archive yet, could you do so? I want the project to be as complete as possible.”

“What are you all doing here?” Jonny scowled, looking at the crew clustered in the living room.

“Ivy called a crew meeting, to reveal her Archival project.” Brian replied.

“Yes, and I very specifically said she didn’t have the authority to do that, since she’s not Captain.”

“First mate” eight voices chorused at once.

“That’s why we all decided to get together- as pirates we can’t be caught dead respecting authority” Ashes pointed out.

“But you’re not supposed to defy _my_ authority!” Jonny pouted, as he was forcibly squeezed onto a couch between Brian and the Toy Soldier.

At last Ivy brought out the project. There was a dead silence, eventually broken by Marius.

“Is that… is that a _scrapbook_?”

Indeed it was, complete with colored paper, glossy photographs, ribbons, cutouts, and hand-drawn doodles.

“Is that what you’ve been using my confiscated glitter glue for?” Marius demanded.

“I think it’s spiffing!” The Toy Soldier chirped.

Each two-page spread of the scrapbook had one of the questions written across the top, with the crews answers artistically depicted below. Besides photos, there were newspaper headlines, wanted ads, sheet music scraps, spent matches and other oddments attached to the pages with every adhesive known to humanity and several that weren’t. 

“There was a question about fighting?” Jonny demanded when they flipped to the second set. “How come I didn’t get to answer that?”

“That’s what you get for not participating, Jonny.” Ivy replied, a little smugly.

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s entirely fair, which is why you don’t like it.”

Eventually, they flipped to the last page. The one only the _Aurora_ would really answer. The question was written in Ivy’s fanciest handwriting, on a photographic landscape of planets, nebulas and galaxies.

  1. **Where to next?**



**Author's Note:**

> I tried to line up each question with a mech and have them be the first to answer it, but that didn't work out perfectly. For the curious:
> 
> Favorite romance- Jonny  
> Favorite fight- Tim  
> Favorite survivor- Ashes  
> Favorite location- Brian (because Pilot)  
> Favorite unusual phenomenon: Raphaella  
> Most fun you've had- Marius  
> Favorite memento- Ivy  
> Favorite mechanical device- Nastya  
> Favorite game/hobby: Toy Soldier  
> And of course, Last Question is Aurora


End file.
